The beginning or the end?
Today is the start of maybe my last IVF cycle.
There are two ways that this cycle can go:
1) We have one or more viable embryo's at day five
2) We have no viable embryo's at day five (or prior)
#2 means the end of our IVF journey. There's just no point trying again. It's too expensive, we are too old, and I know that after that point I can't do this anymore given that our last cycle ended this way too.
#1 means that there is some hope. I'm hoping for #1!!!
So what's the plan?
We're on a stimulated cycle. I did my first injection this morning with a drug called Elonva. This one injection replaces daily injections for the first week, which is amazing! Less things to do and less bruising (hopefully). But it's also kind of scary because there's so much pressure in case you stuff it up.! Which I didn't, thankfully.
Still looks like a lotta drugs huh!?
I have a blood test and ultrasound in six days and by then we should have a sense of the follicle count. Last cycle we had five or six follicles and four eggs were collected. Fingers crossed this time there are more as we tend to have quite a high level of drop off. But we only need one, as they say. From there we will get further advice on when our egg collection will take place and whether any changes need to be made to our medication plan.
How am I feeling?
Scared. And a little bit excited. But mostly scared. Going into this you need to stay positive or it would be HELL! But it's also important to be realistic because it's so bloody hard when you get negative news. It's also tough because the journey can feel so lonely, even with a supportive husband, family and friends. Despite that, part of me wants to just disappear for a month and do this on my own. With Netflix. And herbal teas. I'd almost feel less lonely that way, if that makes sense at all!?! But that's not possible so maybe by sharing step-by-step it will be a little easier.
I promise to be as honest as I can.
Love Phoebe xx