• Phoebe Adams

Obsessive DPO, BFP, TTC, BD, WTF?

Updated: Mar 7, 2018

Ugh, has anyone been through the trying to conceive (TTC) stage and realised how OBSESSIVE it can become if you track symptoms, stalk forums, journal every twinge and spot?

No? It sucks.

Yes? You get it!!

When we were TTC last year naturally, before we kicked back into our IVF, I read BFP (Big Fat Pregnancy) by DPO (Days Past Ovulation) on the site twoweekwait.com like a mofo. Literally could not get enough of it. Essentially people list their symptoms from the day they get their period (cycle day 1 or CD1) up to ovulation (O) and then DPO. Day by day, symptom by symptom. You could lose hours trawling through the posts. And I didn't just do it once, I spent many a day reading the same posts over and over. There are literally hundreds. It's a total time suck.

When I started the IVF again I was obsessive enough with symptom watching so I stopped checking the site.

Fast forward a year and guess what? I checked my fertility tracker (Fertility Friend, FF) and realised that I am 6DPO. So guess what I just did? Yep, I jumped straight back onto the site to read a whole lot of new BFP stories. None of them mine. And guess how I feel now? Like crap.

Many of my friends who over the years have been my TTC pals have since had their kids. Most of them have actually. One of the girls is about to celebrate the second birthday of her twins. Far out this is hard. I really try and be positive but sometimes I get sucked back into the pity party and wallow there for a bit, which is kind of where I am now. (Super happy for them btw!!! Just feel pity for moi).

Why won't it happen to me!?!?!

Anyway, f*ck it. I can't change anything now. I'm 6DPO and it's HIGHLY unlikely I'll get a BFP this month so I won't check the site again. Put the phone down!!!

My name is Phoebe Adams and I'm a forum-aholic. Or symptom-aholic. Or a symptom-forum-aholic. Whatevs.

Signing off, peace out x

#IVF #Fertility #Infertility #MinusOne #FertilityFund #DPO #BFP #BFN

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