Filling the void
I saw a psychic on the weekend with my sister-in-law. We'd been speaking about how we both felt like we were at really transitional places in our lives and maybe a psychic would be interesting to chat to. I was soooooooo nervous, I guess because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't want to hear bad news.
Her initial reading was all about me having to find my purpose, what I was put on this earth to do. She said I hadn't found it yet but if/when I did I would fly. She talked about it being a highly creative role that was project based and would earn me a lot of money, although money was not my main focus. It was all about finding the feminine energy and tapping in to my heart and what it was telling me to do. Easy, right?
I asked about whether I'd be successful at falling pregnant and she said yes possibly but potentially if you find your purpose then you will be ok if it doesn't happen. She said that it takes a lot of energy to make a baby and you can't create one if you're running on empty and don't fill up the void inside you. A baby won't fill that void, it has to come from within.
I thought this was really interesting. I've been so focussed in the last couple of years of trying to have a child that I haven't been focussed on myself and what makes me happy and fulfilled. I've pulled back on everything to try and make this happen, work, exercise, a social life!
Maybe she's right.
It doesn't make me feel any less determined to try and get a great result in South Africa, but it has made me think about what happens if I'm not successful. What's interesting is that I've always said that I need a plan B if the baby doesn't happen, but my husband and I have never agreed on what that would be. For me it would probably be travelling for several months (or a year!?) but he can't visualise that break in his career. The psychic said that maybe I'm the one that will travel, probably while I'm executing on my highly successful purpose I suppose!! I'll take that.
I still want a baby though :)
BTW, this time in three weeks we will be on our flight to Cape Town!!