Control freak + IVF = a match made in heaven. Right?
When I first started IVF I was so excited because I finally felt like I could take control of things. I could do the injections, I could schedule the acupuncture, I could organise the blood tests and scans, I could follow the process. Easy. I do my bit, then the doctor and scientists do their bit. They're experts and I've got my part under control.
When you try naturally you need to rely on your partner. You need to rely on nature. It's a miracle that people fall pregnant at all!
Regardless of which way you go though you have absolutely no control on the outcome. You can be the perfect 'patient' and do everything by the book, but it might not help you get a baby.
On this round I don't feel in control. At all. I feel totally in the hands of fate. And hopefully some good karma. For a control freak like moi (just ask my husband) that's sooooooo hard. But I do feel like I've done what I can up to this point. A good friend of mine yesterday said "Whatever happens you've done your best" and I truly believe that. I hope that's enough and I hope that if it's not a positive outcome I'll be ok. The thought makes me so sad so I really try not to think about it, but typing this has made me teary. Ugh, it can be so hard.