Six. A magical number?

I had my first scan of this cycle today. This is where they check the lining of the uterus and count and measure the follicles. The follicles release the eggs. The more follicles, the more eggs. In theory. The follicles need to be a certain size, or maturity, to release an egg, which is 16mm+. Only three of the six follicles look like they will be the right size. So, how do I feel? Pretty flat to be honest. This scan is similar to the one in my last cycle, which didn't turn o

The beginning or the end?

Today is the start of maybe my last IVF cycle. There are two ways that this cycle can go: 1) We have one or more viable embryo's at day five 2) We have no viable embryo's at day five (or prior) #2 means the end of our IVF journey. There's just no point trying again. It's too expensive, we are too old, and I know that after that point I can't do this anymore given that our last cycle ended this way too. #1 means that there is some hope. I'm hoping for #1!!! So what's the plan?

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth ..

Just writing that headline makes me feel ANXIOUS! So anxious. When I first shared the journey that Toby, my husband, and I were on I was nervous. And a bit ashamed. It was embarrassing to share that we were struggling to have a baby. It was hard being so raw with friends and family. I didn't want people to pity us or feel sad for us, I just wanted (want!) another child. But my mission with Minus One is to remove the stigma that is attached to infertility and the IVF (and rela

The hope / disappointment continuum

If you've ever been trying to conceive for a period of time, I'm pretty sure you'll understand this. It's how disproportionate the scale of disappointment is compared to the teeny, tiny, minuscule amount of hope you allowed yourself to feel in thinking that this month might be the month. (Incredible illustration from my talented sis in law Gen which captures my mood perfectly!) You know how it goes ... The month where you prove the doctors wrong. The month where you can final

Obsessive DPO, BFP, TTC, BD, WTF?

Ugh, has anyone been through the trying to conceive (TTC) stage and realised how OBSESSIVE it can become if you track symptoms, stalk forums, journal every twinge and spot? No? It sucks. Yes? You get it!! When we were TTC last year naturally, before we kicked back into our IVF, I read BFP (Big Fat Pregnancy) by DPO (Days Past Ovulation) on the site like a mofo. Literally could not get enough of it. Essentially people list their symptoms from the day they get t

Here we go, baby!

I've decided to consider this week as the beginning of my (in)fertility journey. Monday, 19 February 2018. Mark that date in your calendar friends, we're on our way! It's not actually the beginning, but who's counting. This is us "Oh, hey!": Beatrix on the left is our nine year old cherub, that's me in the middle, and that's Toby on the right. This is the day we renewed our wedding vows, arguably one of the best days of our lives. On this day we decided that we were entering